Chris Brown
Christopher Maurice "Chris" Brown is an American recording artist, dancer, and actor. Born in Tappahannock, Virginia, he taught himself to sing and dance at a young age and was involved in his church choir and several local talent shows.
Enters Christopher Kenechukwu Brown, the Nigerian version. I have no doubt that if he was from Nigeria,he probably would have come from Nnewi. He looks like a boy who would have ended up in spare parts market and always beating up his girlfriends. The tattoo all over his body would still have been there and even more. However, the tattoos would not have come from the hands of tattoo artists but as a result of beating and or scratches he would have gotten from the mob trying to teach him a lesson for beating his girlfriends or his girlfriends designing his body during a fight.
Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Joy Handler is an American comedian, actress, author, talk show host and producer. She hosts a late-night talk show called Chelsea Lately, on E! Entertainment Television.
If Chelsea was a Nigerian, she probably would be running a salon somewhere in Aba. You know those typical Aba girls that talk too much and do not care much about what comes out of their mouths. In fact, her middle name Joy would still have been her main name and that of her salon- Joy Beauty Salon. But not to take anything away from her,Joy would have been a very popular and successful salon operator in Aba and her salon some sort of mecca.
Oprah Winfrey
Oprah Gail Winfrey is an American media proprietor, talk show host, actress, producer, and philanthropist.
Over here, Oprah would have gone by the name Olayinka. She would have been a typical Yoruba woman importing bales of lace materials and also controlling chains of business concerns. Olayinka or Yinka would still have been very wealthy and a very popular socialite and her face always on the cover pages of City people, Ovation International and Encomium.
Rick Ross
William Leonard Roberts II, known by his stage name Rick Ross, is an American rapper. Ross founded the record label Maybach Music Group, on which he released his studio albums Deeper Than Rap Teflon Don and God Forgives, I Don't
Well that is his profile as an American. In Nigeria, his profile would have read something like this "Gbenga Obelu is a popular musician in Mushin, Lagos. Gbenga rose to fame following the release of his studio album, God dey forgive, Me, I no fit forgive."
Rihanna
Robyn Rihanna Fenty, known by her stage name Rihanna, is a Barbadian recording artist and actress.
Over here, Erinma, yes that probably would have been Rhinna’s name. Rhinna or Erinma would have been a 300 Level over-pampered UniLag student jumping from one night club to another. As a Nigerian, Rihanna still would have gotten all the bashing from the boys.Rihanna as a Nigerian would still have been very popular and always ending up every Monday on Linda Ikeji’s blog either half naked or in a drunken state.
Jay-Z
Shawn Knowles-Carter, better known by his stage name Jay-Z, is an American rapper, record producer, and entrepreneur. He is one of the most financially successful hip-hop artists and entrepreneurs in America.
If he was a Nigerian, Jay-Z would be a bigger Don Jazzy making cool money from producing good music and signing up all the juicy endorsement contracts. I doubt if he would have been married by now just like his counterpart in Nigeria. However, I know for sure that If Jay –Z was a Nigerian and probably a Don Jazzy, Mo Hit would still have been intact and D’Banj would either be calling him IDJN or the Don.
Wendy Williams
Wendy Williams Hunter is an American media personality, actress and author. She hosts a syndicated television talk show, The Wendy Williams Show. Prior to television, Williams was a "shock jockette" on several radio shows.
I’m finding it difficult to put Wendy in one mould. She has the personalities of Mo Abdu, Linda Ikeji and a bit of Toolz. Even reworking her name is a bit of challenge for me. One mind tells me to call her Stella Dimoko because of some certain traits she exhibits while the other mind insists she would be a lot civil even as a Nigerian.
Ellen DeGeneres
Ellen Lee DeGeneres is an American stand-up comedian, television host and actress. She has hosted the syndicated talk show The Ellen DeGeneres Show since 2003.
First of all, Ellen as a Nigerian would have been a full blown man. There wouldn't have been any confusion as to her gender whatsoever.With her attitude and approach to work, Ellen would have been a combination of Basket Mouth and Baby Face and still would have been one of the greatest comedians.
Kim Kardashian
Kimberly Noel "Kim" Kardashian is an American television personality and occasional actress. In 2007, she gained notoriety as the subject of a sex tape. There is no equivalent Nigerian profile. All the profiles selected for matching returned the error message ‘void’. The only profiles that showed up in the error message had ‘wannabe’ boldly highlighted. The two wannabes if you insist are Tonto Dike and Cossy Orjiakor.
0 comments:
Post a Comment