There is no gainsaying the fact that most couples contemplate what goes on in their partners’ minds so much as they wonder who is on the other end of the phone when a call or text message is made, sent or received as the case may be. But just how much must someone pry into his or her partner’s mobile phones?
In a technology-filled world, the temptation to read your partner’s text messages, pings, Facebook or other interactive instant message applications is overwhelming but the big question is; is it wrong to read your partner’s text messages or emails if you suspect that he or she is hiding something from you?
When Ayomikun logged onto her husband’s email, she was hoping for the best. Instead, she was met with a rude awakening. Clear cut evidence of her husband’s secret love affair was revealed as she scrolled through his messages. Love notes, song lyrics, photos of two of them together nauseated her as she held his phone in her hands.
“It was the worst thing I have ever seen with my eyes,” Ayomikun recalled.
She is not alone: According to people’s opinions, 41 per cent of women have checked through their men’s phone or emails. Modern technology offers a whole new variety of ways to spy on your partner. Looking through his wardrobe, checking for lipstick stains or checking for condoms in his pocket is now a thing of the past.
According to Saturday Tribune findings, going through your partner’s phone is now the top reason cheating and affairs are exposed. But why do we check our partners’ phones?
When Moyo’s boyfriend forgot his phone at her house, the temptation to check the phone was too much to resist.
“What girl would not want to look at everything that is contained in her boyfriend’s phone?” She told Saturday Tribune. But of course, giving into temptation can have drastic consequences.
Snooping around someone’s phones may be a breach of trust, but it can expose some untrustworthy attitudes.
There have been several cases of women finding pictures of naked women or scantily clad ladies while checking their men’s phones and this has caused troubles in many relationships.
“There was a time my boyfriend borrowed my laptop and forgot to log out, I searched Facebook account and discovered that he subscribed to my ‘check-ins’ in order to receive notification about my whereabouts. He checks my phones, he knows all my contact list names by heart and whenever he finds a new name added to the list, he asks questions. At first, I thought it was because he loves me and couldn’t bear to let any man snatch me from him. But when it became worrisome as it caused a lot of accusations, I had to end the relationship because if he cannot trust me, there should be no point in me dating him.”
The fact is that if you want to check through your partner’s phone, you must be ready for what you may find, because when you are looking for something, you will find it. The best way to satisfy your curiosity is simply ask. Partners with nothing to hide may be more willing to share the content of their phones with their partners. The easiest way to find out if your partner is hiding something from you is to simply ask him or her if you can look through his phone and if he says no, well, there is your answer!
Gbemi Olanrewaju
I had a friend who was in a happy relationship until she looked through her boo’s phone. She saw text conversations that she never imagined existed and it caused her to end the relationship with her so-called ‘perfect’ man.
Ireti Dominic
Don’t trust a man with no messages on his mobile phone because apparently, he deleted them because the messages were inappropriate. Some guys also go extra miles to hide their phones from their wives or girlfriends. They either take it along with them to the bathroom or hide it in their pockets when sleeping. I once dated a guy who always deleted his messages after reading. I asked him why he did that and his excuse was that if the phone got stolen, the information therein could be used to defraud him. I didn’t trust him.
Elizabeth Uko
“Seek and you shall find,” so goes a saying. If you are looking for something bad, that is what you will find. People choose not to look through their partners’ phones because they have no interest in finding something that might mess up their relationships. It’s not necessarily trust, it is much about avoidance. There is no way one can have a perfect and honest partner, so, it is better to focus on the good things about the relationship instead of looking for the bad. Be happy with what you have and don’t go about finding something wrong. What you don’t know won’t hurt you.
Kunle Awosusi
Ideally, a man shouldn’t give his woman a reason to have to look for evidence in his phone. But, if you must check your partner’s phone (that is, if he is not smart enough to lock it with a security code), be prepared for what you might find: stress, sleepless nights, headaches, arguments, fights, disturbing thoughts that may haunt you, just to mention a few. I won’t check my girlfriend’s phone because I don’t want to subject myself to such torture.
Yomi Adewale
Checking through each other’s phones and emails is a constant source of trouble for many couples. Women are particularly guilty of this and if the guy dares lock his phone, they take it that it is because he has something to hide. My wife checks my phone anyway, because I have nothing to hide and I check hers also.
Ruth Oladokun
Going through your husband’s phone depicts jealousy, insecurity and a lack of trust, all of which are potentially damaging to a relationship. Also, a person who is bent on proving that his or her partner is being unfaithful would read meanings into the most innocent of situations.
The best way to go is to respect your partner’s privacy for the good of your relationship and for the sake of peace. If you have any legitimate concerns, talk to your husband about it and sort it out in a mature way.
Adora Arinzechi
Many ladies and guys are now so smart that they delete ‘incriminatory’ messages from their phones because they know that their boyfriends, husbands or wives is fond of checking their phones. These days, everyone is pinging, texting, tweeting and emailing, so, it’s not like you can accidentally overhear a conversation. All he or she has to do afterwards is simply delete the message, thinking that their partners will never find out. So, checking their husbands, wives, boyfriends or girlfriends’ phones is just a waste of time and an act of foolishness.
Juwon Fadairo
Yes, I can. If I ask for her phone, she shouldn’t have a problem showing me, if she has nothing to hide. If she refuses or if she hides her phone or excuses herself whenever she receives a call, or get offended or defensive for no reason when I confront her with it, then she is hiding something, which, to me, is unacceptable. My girlfriend and I check each other’s phones. That is how we learn to trust each other.
Lola Abiodun
I don’t check my boyfriend’s phone because I believe what I can’t see won’t affect me. I love him and I would not allow a text from a girl to break us. And I don’t care if he goes through mine because I have nothing to hide.
Gbolahan Awofeso
I would not touch her phone if she keeps it in the open and doesn’t hide or switch it off whenever we are together because that is enough to prove she has nothing to hide from me. But I don’t think I would allow her to touch mine!
Laide Eketunde
I usually don’t check my boyfriend’s phone, but if I ask him to hand it over and he hesitates or has a lock on it, then maybe he is hiding something or someone. I would definitely confront him with it.
Bukky Ogunleye
That is an invasion of privacy. Trust should be the foundation of any relationship. I would never touch someone else’s phone, wallet or anything personal. If there is no trust, you have no business being in a relationship.
Yinka Salawu
There have been cases of ladies storing their lovers’ names as Ronke, and so on. Some guys too store their secret girls’ names as glo customer care or use names such as Kunle, Saheed or Banji. So, checking you partner’s phone is not the way to catch a cheating partner anymore.
Tope Akinrinmade
You should be able to trust your partner, and if he or she has nothing to hide, your having access to his or her phone should not be an issue. That being said, I have looked at my partner’s phone when he left it unattended and I discovered lots of secrets and lies. I had sleepless nights and was depressed. I was afraid to confront him because the relationship was just a week old and I didn’t want him to feel that I was choking him.
Shola Balogun
It is unhealthy to check your partner’s phone, but you can’t blame us because sometimes, some guys make us feel that they are cheating on us by the way they act with their phones. Guarding it at all times, trying to hide their phones when receiving text messages and making calls at odd hours is enough to make us suspicious. But for me, I don’t want to have any blood pressure, therefore, I can’t monitor his movements, let alone check his phone.
Onome Isituah
I can’t allow that. There’s what they call privacy. I feel there should be trust in every relationship. Checking his phone might make you have doubts. You might find something that you can’t handle, even if he’s innocent.
Hafiz Oladipo
I can allow my girlfriend have access to my phone. We can check each other’s phones provided that neither of us has a skeleton in our closets.
Aisha Oladipo
Sure, I can allow my boyfriend access to my mobile phone. But I don’t see the need of checking each other’s phones once we trust each other, and we’re both sure of where we stand in each other’s lives. It’s no big deal when a couple checks each other’s phones, so long as they have a clear mind.
Mary Alade
I don’t read my husband’s text messages even when I use his phone to make calls. It is not a good thing because you will be giving yourself high blood pressure.
Kayode Bambo
I finally got to read my ex-girlfriend’s text messages on her phone. I had to dash to the toilet because my stomach couldn’t hold the rumble when I read the message contents. I am still in shock and wish I never read it. But on the other hand, I am a bit glad I did, else, how would I have known that Uncle Wole was actually her aristo!
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