First of all; introduction. Okay, I kid;there’s no introduction.
I was just thinking what difference it would make if we paid attention or observed certain things we otherwise ignored? Well, here, I have compiled some things you need to observe to avoid troubles in Lagos.
Enjoy the trip.
1. Do not open an account in a branch nearest to your house. O dikwa risky!
2. Once in a while watch football matches in viewing centres closer to where you reside. It gives you an idea of the type of people that live in your neighbourhood.
3. Avoid dating those small girls in your neighbourhood. You expose yourself to danger by doing so. It also decreases your ‘rep’ in the area.
4. Avoid taking a permanent seat at a mama put. Rotate where you eat; so that thy days may be long in Lagos.
5. You see Ashi? Avoid them; they do not have your interest at heart. It does matter if your third leg is telling you otherwise.
6. As much as you can; mind your own business.
7. Don’t argue football in a viewing centre you are visiting for the first; for some have received hot slap in time past.
8. Don’t tell it all when you are visiting a salon for the first time. Your story will get to CNN before you know it.
9. Do not despise the ‘Aboki’ on your street. They have a way of knowing one or two things about your area.
10. At all cost, avoid taking/plying the roads popularly known as ‘one way’.
11. Always keep extra boots in the house especially if you are a striker. If you are not in that line of business; don’t bother after all the sea only drowns people in it.
12. Cut down on I.O.U. Freedom is priceless.
13. Avoid Lotto/Baba Ijebu. Even 9ce said so in his song.
14. Make one or two lawyers your friends. It does matter if they are just charge and bail. You will need them in the time of trouble.
15. When you finally buy your car; take it easy on our Lagos sisters. Just because they said bye when you said hi when you didn’t have a car doesn’t mean you must take it out on them.
16. Avoid BRT Lanes. If LASTMA doesn’t catch you; those BRT drivers may not spare your car.
17. Ask for the meaning of the signs on the apartment you intend to pay for before payment. There are strong myths surrounding signs on buildings in Lagos.
18. “No refund after payment.” Don’t play with that phrase; Lagosians love to implement that phase to the latter.
19. Never fight with a conductor. You will lose either ways.
20. Shine your eyes when you are dealing with agents. It is increasingly difficult to tell a mad man from a mechanic.
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