If your name has not been mentioned or used at Phumie’s salon, then you haven’t crossed the salon when Fumi and her girls are at work. They know a thing or more about everybody who stays around their shop.
The ladies were attending to customers one Saturday Evening when Pastor Femi drove by. Pastor was on his way to church. The moment Pastor Femi drove by, the following conversation ensued.
Funmi talking to her customer…
Funmi: Baby look… look na
Customer: Where?
Funmi: That black Corolla
Customer: Okay, what’s up with it?
Funmi: The guy driving it is a pastor.
Customer: Okay
Funmi: His church is just down the road. Do you know he is still single with all his money?
Customer: Where is his church?
Funmi: Just down that street where you have those PHCN transformers. You know that place?
Customer: Yes.
Funmi: Ehen..After those transformers, there is a road by your left. Once you enter the street and go down a bit, you will see the church
Customer: okay…okay. I remember the place now.
Funmi: Good. If you see how babes flock that his church ehn
Customer: yes now. What do you expect?
Funmi: I don’t know why he has not married even with all those ladies all around him
Customer: Well, I don’t know.
Funmi: Say the truth, in your mind; don’t you think he will be…
Customer: Funmi!? Everybody can’t be like that.
Funmi: Well, if you say so o
Customer: It’s like you’ve attended the church before?
Funmi: Why?
Customer: You sound like one with a fair knowledge of the church
Funmi: Hahahaha
Customer: did you?
Funmi: Yes. I worshiped there for almost four months
Customer: Hmmm…So what happened?
Funmi: My dear, nothing o
Customer: Talk na
Funmi: True, nothing happened. Well, sha, the pastor is a good man. But the guys in that church? Their heads no dey here o.
Customer: Tell me the gist na
Funmi: Nothing jor. Only that those guys in that church are just pretenders
Customer: You have said that part before. This one you are sounding this serious, what did they do to you?
Funmi: Don’t mind that yeye guy that calls himself Chris. What those boys do there.
Customer: Okay, don’t worry. It looks like it is a difficult one.
Funmi: Well, let’s leave that one. All I know is that those boys don’t listen at all to what the pastor is preaching.
While she was still talking, Funmi saw Chris standing at the other end of the road. Chris waited for the road to become less busy before he crossed.
Funmi: See him, that guy standing over there. The guy spotting a red top. That’s the guy I’m telling you about.
Customer: That guy?
Funmi: Yes
Customer: I know him. He comes to our compound. His girlfriend abi fiancée stays there.
Funmi: Seriously?
Customer: Whatever happened to you, when did it happen?
Funmi: About two months ago.
Customer: Hehehe…guys oo. Do you know they have been together for more than a year now?
Funmi: Look at him very well; are you sure it is the same person?
Customer: Is it not that guy standing there. I know him well.
Funmi: You do? Wow!
Customer: It means he deceived you big time. Pele o
Funmi: You see my point now? Those guys, every Sunday they suit up and look like angels.
Customer: Did he…?
Funmi: If he didn’t, would I be complaining. I noticed the very week he did, his attitude changed. He started avoiding me.
Customer: He got what he was looking for, that’s why.
Funmi: Na God go
The customer cuts in…
Customer: Don’t bother to curse him. See, it doesn’t work. I understand your pain very well. However, there’s no need to be bitter now.
Funmi: Why? He deceived me; he ravaged my body and collected my money.
Customer: But he didn’t force you to sleep with him nor rob you. I am sure you gave him both willingly.
Funmi: Well it was from the way he presented it.
Customer: How did he present it?
Funmi: He was complaining one day that he didn’t have money; I gave him 20k that day.
Customer: You see.
Funmi: I spent about 250k on that guy in that short period we were together.
Customer: Funmi, take it easy in this Lagos o. I am not saying you should not spend money on your guy o. However, don’t spend money in such a way that it would pain you later.
Funmi: But why are men always like that? Very deceitful
Customer: That is the part I don’t like Funmi. How many men have you met in your life to generalize that men are like that? There are plenty good guys out there.
Funmi: I wasn’t one to generalize until I was disappointed by three guys back to back now.
Customer: Sorry my sister. Sometimes it happens that way. But that does not mean that all men are the same. In fact, we are the ones that make the men look the same.
The customer looks at the hair Funmi had worked on. She yawns as she stretches.
Funmi: I will soon finish
Customer: Okay. So what do you plan to do now that you know that you were never his?
Funmi: Nothing. That one is in the past now.
Customer: Great
The customer rises as soon as Funmi announced she was done making her hair. She stretches and yawns again and again.
Customer: Thank you Funmi.
Funmi: You are welcome. See you soon
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