Ah, Facebook, the place where a bunch of people you’d never talk to in real life fill your waking hours with cat videos, quizzes and uninformed opinions. Even the best of us are guilty of being bad digital neighbors from time to time, but some people consistently stink up your feed like forgotten leftovers in the back of the fridge. Face(book) it, you may as well improve your virtual life by unfriending these obnoxious people faster than they can click “share” on yet another idiotic meme.
1. The Stranger Who’s Always Going Through Some S–t
You had, like, one class with her in high school. So why do you know the details of her breakup/eviction/gluten allergy? Ditch her. Trust us, she’s used to it.
2. The Comment Bandit
Nothing kills a comment thread like having it hijacked by some a-hole intent on making your brilliantly crafted status all about him and his weird conspiracy theories. He may assume that you’ve unfriended him because of chem trails, but at least you and your friends won’t have to hear about it.
3. The Aggressive Tagger
Good friends are like a bottle of fine wine: They get you drunk and don’t tag you in tacky pictures with cliche phrases on them.
4. The Biggest Loser
The only thing worse than actual exercise is hearing someone else brag about doing it. This guy seems to be into having his butt kicked, so do him a favor and give him a swift blow right out of your friends list.
5. The Late Night Messenger
Next time it’s 3 a.m. and you hear that ominous message chime followed by “Sup?”, it’s perfectly acceptable to reply with, “Not much, just making sure you stop asking me that.”
6. The Quiz Show Host
Which type of easily distracted person are you? If you got, “Can avoid the temptation to click on every quiz,” then congratulations, you win the internet.
7. Your Grandma
Sure, it may seem a little heartless to unfriend the woman who made the woman who made you, but do it now, before she publicly asks whether everybody on your page is your boyfriend or girlfriend.
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