Are you a lady, new to Lagos and have been wondering how to stay on top of your game in Lagos; we’ve got you covered. Just grab a bottle of your favourite drink, sit back and enjoy this rule book. Don’t forget to pass it round; there are other ladies in need of it.
Rule 1: THOU MUST BUY A BLACKBERRY OR ANY SMART PHONE
BBM and WhatsApp are key features your phone must have. It keeps you on top of your game. No juicy gist shall pass you by.
Rule 2: GET READY TO BE ‘TOASTED’
In Lagos, you must be toasted, how you look doesn’t count. Don’t get upset with the boys, it is a significant part of the package. Have fun listening to them. Pay attention to the pickup lines too, they come in different flavours and arrangements.
Rule 3: HE MUST BE DRIVING SOMETHING
When you are ready to fall for one of your ‘toasters’, be sure he drives something. It doesn’t matter if it’s Keke he’s driving. Mobility is very important in Lagos. Keke does the wonder sometimes.
Rule 4: GET FAMILIAR WITH THESE ANCIENT LANDMARKS
Sabo Yaba, katangwa, Oshodi and Balogun markets. Thy clothing needs would be met at these places without measure.
Rule 5: NEGOTIATION SKILL IS KEY
Don’t panic when a cab driver mentions his fare. It is their stock in trade; a little leaning forward while negotiating will do the magic. Remember not to overdo it; that could jeopardise the entire trip.
Rule 6: GUARD YOUR ASSET
Never leave your boyfriend alone with your girl friend when he comes visiting .Odikwa risky! Drag him along whenever you want to leave the room even when you are going to the loo. A stitch in time saves nine.
Rule 7: BRAZILIAN, PERUVIAN AND INDIAN HAIR ARE NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED
Unless you can afford one, don’t envy those wear. You cannot afford to do what some of them do just to wear one. Make do with Xpressions and thy joy shall be full.
Rule 8: RE BRANDING IS KEY
If you are still hanging onto your village name that probably explains what is ‘doing’ you. Think global; rebrand and watch your ministry grow
Rule 9: STEER CLEAR OF MARINA BOYS
When the phrase “at owner’s risk” was invented, I’m sure the guy had those Marina boys in mind. Or if you must ‘deal’; ‘deal’ cautiously.
Rule 10: ALABA BOYS ARE THE BIG SPENDERS IN LAGOS
Alaba boys? Yes these guys can spend money when they feel like spending it. They know how to spend their ‘economy’ for the ladies they consider their ‘specs’. This is for your information.
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