Monday was the start of the induction meetings for the Newly Weds in church. We were more than fifty ladies that have gathered for the week-long meeting tagged “Home Builders.”
Madam Kachi, who was the first speaker, mounted the podium for her session. She told us that her story will form the focus of her teaching for the night. It was about forgiving when it is extremely difficult to forgive.
“It all started the day I scheduled to meet mama Dirim. I did not keep to the time we originally agreed to meet with the agent who was supposed to help us to get a shop for my salon business. We met two hours behind the agreed time. In order to placate Mama Dirim, I stylishly mentioned to her what delayed my coming and how it was impossible to leave the house at that time. I jokingly mentioned that my husband is so ‘good’ and how lucky I am to have married her.
We both laughed at it and gave ourselves hi five. After about three months, I was admitted for a corrective surgery. I stayed in the hospital for a total of seven days. Before I left for the surgery, I called my friend and told her how my family would be in need of her services. It was natural to choose her to look after my little boys since her shop was not too far away from their school. So I begged Mama Dirim to take my children home after the close of school for the period of time I was going to spend at the hospital. An arrangement she agreed to. We embraced each other and told ourselves “this is what friends are for.”
I was discharged exactly on the day the doctor estimated I would be fit to go home. I recovered in time to continue with my business and to takie care of the home front. My love for Mama Dirim knew no bounds as my husband and the boys spoke glowingly about how she took care of them. She made sure my boys had their bath and attended to their school assignments after school.
During the long vacation, we took our friendship to the next level. I sent my kids to spend a week at her place. The following week her kids visited us and spent a week also with us. We also made a joint trip to Kenya to cap the fun for the kids before schools resumed.
One Saturday night, I was relaxing after a session at the gym when my phone beeped. It was a text message from mama Dirim. “Thanks dear; I had fun as usual. U are d best. Rembr 2 delete after readin this.”
I didn’t know exactly what to make of the message. I told myself whatever it was; Mama Dirim was up to some tricks. I picked my phone and dialed her number right away. “Nne Dirim; onye kwa ka I n’ekene?” She didn’t understand what I was saying as she didn’t know she had sent the message to me.
“I just got a message from you saying thank you and you are the best” I told her. What followed was a deafening silence. And soon enough she blotted out “oh, that message; It is for my husband. Please disregard it.” I said okay reluctantly and quickly switched to another topic. When we were done with the telephone conversation; I stood rooted to the ground wondering what Mama Dirim was up to.
I knew something was wrong. “I hope this woman is not cheating on her husband” I said to myself very audibly.
I made up my mind I was going to confront her with the issue of the text message whenever we see. I kept forgetting until the issue was overtaken by time.
I love Mama Dirim. We always prayed for her in our devotions. There was no day we didn’t speak on the phone.
One day, we were driving home; Charlz B was discussing a topic that was related to infidelity on Inspiration FM. A caller narrated how she knew her dad was cheating on her mother. Since the dad knew the girl was in the know; he went out of his way to buy things to please her. We both condemned the girl for receiving gifts from the dad to cover up and admitted she did well by not telling the mother.
We listened as more women called in to narrate how their spouses had been cheating on them. Our ears were full. When I got to her junction; I held Mama Dirim’s hand and we prayed together. We asked God to protect our families from external invasion and to help us remain faithful to our husbands. We said Amen and Mama Dirim alighted from my car.
The following morning, I saw seven missed calls. All the missed calls were from Mama Dirim. My heart skipped a beat. “Why was she trying to reach me that night?” I queried. I was trying to call her back when my phone rang again.
“Woman didn’t you see my calls?” Mama Dirim queried. “Sorry I didn’t know my phone was in silent mode” I apologized; still hoping to hear why she called my number severally the previous night. She told me her sister got into the country from the United States of America that night. She wanted to speak with me on the phone. I have only spoken with her once on the phone but because of my relationship with her sister; it seemed we have known for many years. I went over to their place in the evening to say hi. We decided to go out to have some pepper soup.
In the car as we drove back; my phone beeped, it was a message. I couldn’t look at the message as I was driving. I drove Mama Dirim and sister up to the point where they could easily get a taxi back home.
At home, I didn’t remember to read the text message until late at night. “Kachi, there’s something I need to tell you. Let’s see as soon as you can.”
I called mama Dirim immediately and inquired if all was well, “let’s meet first” she said in a very low voice.
When I called the following morning, she told me she would prefer to come to my shop if I wouldn’t mind. Mama Dirim arrived at my shop in the company of her sister around 1pm. I offered them some Malt drinks; they both declined and opted for water instead.
“Kachi, we have known for a very long time now; I have never had a friend as wonderful as you are. You are a good woman. I wish I could say the same for myself; unfortunately, I cannot.”
I kept my cool, looked on as Mama Dirim struggled to narrate her story.
“I did you wrong. I’m not worthy to be your friend. I betrayed you and the trust you have in me. I slept with your husband. Please forgive him. He knows I am doing this at this time. I’m totally ashamed of myself.”
I left the duo in my shop and walked towards my car. I couldn’t believe what I just heard; my hubby cheated on me with my best friend? While in the car; I prayed for the right thing to do. I prayed for direction.
It worked like magic; I felt relieved after the prayer. I told myself that if they didn’t disclose it to me I wouldn’t have known. I came down from the car, wiped my tears and walked back to the car. Upon getting to my shop, Mama Dirim was in pain. She was weeping uncontrollably. I reached for her hand and told her to cheer up.
“Wipe your tears; we will work together to correct this.” We started crying again. I deeply felt like letting go; but my kegs kept trembling.
“When did this happen” I queried. Mama Dirim raised her head and stared at me. She cast her gaze on the floor as she stammered “when you were in the hospital.”
I opened my mouth in total disbelief. “Are you kidding me? How would you have done that to me?”
The two ladies knelt down on the floor begging me to forgive. I gave her my words that I have forgiven her but I would still like to hear what happened.
I was scared to learn that Mama Dirim got interested in my husband the day I mentioned that he was good. Upon probing further, Mama Dirim mentioned she slept with my husband two times.
I told her I knew something was wrong at some point; but couldn’t place my hands on anything.
The two ladies stayed back in my shop until it was close of business. We rode straight to my house; my children came to welcome me as usual. I didn’t return their greetings as I was too weak to utter a word.
As I walked into our bedroom, I saw my husband kneeling on the floor with tears rolling down his cheek.
He didn’t know exactly what to say to me. I made a sign to him to stand up. I heard him utter some words in apology. We moved to the sitting room where Mama Dirim and her sister were already waiting for us.
I stood up, took the hands of my husband; I held the hands of my friend and prayed heartily to God. I asked for God’s forgiveness. I told them I have forgiven them; my husband threw his hands around me and thanked me.
Everybody looked relieved after the process. Mama Dirim looked at me and my husband and said there was something bothering her.“
To be continued…
NB: “Nne Dirim; onye kwa ka I n’ekene?” Translation: Dirim’s mother, who were you appreciating?
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