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Friday, March 21, 2014

HAPPINESS FOR ALL: TEN WAYS TO BE HAPPY IN NIGERIA

Abraham - March 21, 2014

1. Avoid watching, listening or reading News headlines in the morning. Don’t worry you won’t miss much.

2. Avoid politics especially if the activities of the people in Government make you shout “Oh my God, what’s wrong with these people?!”  Don’t worry, when politics start working again in Nigeria, your neighbour will inform you.

3. If you still ride in public buses especially the yellow buses popularly referred to as Danfo buses in Lagos; you need to do the following while commuting.

a. See the driver and the conductor as actors. If they are very annoying assign them with the names of those annoying Nollywood actors. If they are funny, do the same.

b. See fellow passengers like people in the cinema with you. However, if their activities are irritating to you, see them as extras in the movie you are watching.

c. Stop cursing while commuting, it has never changed anybody. See Nigeria roads as one huge theatre.  Have fun at the various characters you come across.

d. If you are driving in your own car and see other road users do those things that split your hairs; be calm and hold your peace. If you must talk, shout “actor” at the road user.

4. Stop going to check your account every now and then, especially if your account is in the red. That act has a way of giving one special kind of migraine. Avoid it.

5. Frequent your bank especially if your account is telling you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  Ask the customer service person to write your account balance out on a piece of paper.  Have fun watching him/her struggle to fit in the zeros into the paper or try to round off the figure to its nearest figure.

6. Come down from your high horse. Watch loads and loads of Nollywood movies.  I’m not referring to those movies produced by some of these producers who are working hard to take over from Tyler Perry. I’m referring to those movies produced by the Upper Iweka and Alaba moneybags.

7. Take out time to clear all the I.O.Us you have in various parts of the city. The feeling that comes with clearing debt is priceless.  Try it.

8. Listen to loads of music every day. Not the type of music that want only your waist. Or if that is your kind of music, then have fun.

9. Don’t take the threats of your landlord to heart. He’s only doing his job.

10.  Don’t date your boss, sorry, let me use the appropriate word. Don’t sleep with your boss in the name of job security. You give away  the same job you want to secure by doing that. And ultimately your happiness.

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